A dozen of this year's Super Bowl commercials have dropped early. Here's how we expect them to be received on Sunday.
WASHINGTON 鈥� We’re plumbing new depths of late-stage capitalism these days.
Brands have become so self-consumed with their own ad campaigns that Jennifer Garner is sharing the story of her Capital One endorsement , while Nationwide has convinced itself that people want to working on ad jingles.
So it should come as no surprise that 30-second Super Bowl ads 鈥� which cost more than $1 million on average to make and another $5 million to air, a total of about 35 percent more than the entire production budget for the feature film “Get Out” 鈥� now have trailers and teasers of their own.
But we鈥檙e not going to stoop so low as to review teasers to ads. Those companies that only released commercials for their commercials 鈥� Skittles, Amazon, Tide, etc.聽鈥� have made us wait, so they too will have to wait for their reviews.
Here, we’re only looking at the spots that are actually available 鈥� and that we could find in an afternoon of research聽鈥� and grading them on their effectiveness through a composite score of memorability, humor and cachet around the water cooler the next day.
Flip through the slides below as we go from worst-to-first in our own grading of this year鈥檚 Super Bowl ads.
Squarespace
Relying on minimalism and a single, recognizable lead actor (as they did with Jeff Bridges in the past), Squarespace is hoping to follow the same formula here. But Bridges is the dude, and Keanu Reeves just聽a dude. It gets the message across, but doesn鈥檛 leave much of a mark.
Memorability: 1/5Humor: 2/5Water Cooler Cachet: 5/10Overall Score: 8/20
Groupon
Woof. Groupon鈥檚 2011 Super Bowl ad , but seven years later, they still don鈥檛 seem to have the formula figured out. Tiffany Haddish is funny, and using her in the spot appears to be setting up a chance for her humor to shine. Then 鈥� huh. Missed opportunity.
Memorability: 2/5Humor: 2/5Water Cooler Cachet: 6/10Overall Score: 10/20
Michelob Ultra
Chris Pratt has charisma to spare to carry a 60-second spot, though this one feels like it鈥檚 maybe leading up to something greater than it actually does. The whole thing feels like too many little ideas jammed together with no real regard to making sure the overall concept gets paid off. In other words, it鈥檚 a Super Bowl commercial.
Memorability: 2/5Humor: 3/5Water Cooler Cachet: 5/10Overall Score: 10/20
Budweiser
The self-proclaimed 鈥淜ing of Beers鈥� combined their tried and true formula of going for the heartstrings with the American advertiser鈥檚 favorite new trick: a languid, acoustic cover of a classic rock song, in this case Ben E. King鈥檚 鈥淪tand By Me.鈥� Here, we learn that the alcoholic beverage giant is 鈥渁ctually good鈥� for answering the call to deliver water to the states and territories impacted by natural disasters last year. Notably missing on the list of places that could use water: Flint, Michigan. If the emotional manipulation in past ads worked on you then, it will again here.
Memorability: 4/5Humor: 0/5Water Cooler Cachet: 7/10Overall Score: 11/20
惭&补尘辫;惭鈥檚
Envisioning Danny DeVito as the personification (anthropomorphism? What exactly are the talking 惭&补尘辫;惭鈥檚?) of the red M&M was a good comedy idea rife with possibility. That being said, the gig works for exactly 20 seconds, then jumps the shark with some unnecessary physical comedy that could have been used in any setting. It鈥檚 a waste of a good premise.
Memorability: 3/5Humor: 3/5Water Cooler Cachet: 5/10Overall Score: 11/20
Lexus/Black Panther
Action movie-car crossovers are well-worn at this point, and it鈥檚 enough to make you wonder sometimes if the only purpose of those films anymore is just as extended product placement to sell vehicles. Nevertheless, this is well shot, with Run The Jewels providing the head-bopping soundtrack. It might be a little over the top, but at least it鈥檚 entertaining.
Memorability: 4/5Humor: 1/5Water Cooler Cachet: 7/10Overall Score: 12/20
Stella Artois
Oh hey, Matt Damon. The Stella Artois clean water campaign has been going for a bit now, but this is a particularly interesting juxtaposition against the Budweiser ad later in this list. They鈥檙e both owned by the same parent company, InBev. Is this a competition? A collaboration? Anyway, there鈥檚 no humor here, but a compelling, easy solution to an often ignored problem.
Memorability: 4/5Humor: 0/5Water Cooler Cachet: 8/10Overall Score: 12/20
Avocados from Mexico
Chris Elliott appears to be reprising Will Ferrell鈥檚 Mugatu character from 鈥� in this spot, which is all about its surrealist humor. Yeah, things get a little weird, and yeah, that cream-colored turtleneck should be killed with fire, but it鈥檚 colorful, amusing and doesn鈥檛 drag, so overall, not a bad effort.
Memorability: 4/5Humor: 3/5Water Cooler Cachet: 6/10Overall Score: 13/20
PETA
PETA’s never been afraid to get controversial to get people talking, and this should do the trick. Using James Cromwell to deliver the message adds a level of gravitas, though one wonders how much anyone who is chowing down on chicken wings or sliders is going to want to be lectured to midgame.
Memorability: 4/5Humor: 1/5Water Cooler Cachet: 9/10Overall Score: 14/20
Pringles
Given some of the dark, serious commercials in this year鈥檚 broadcast, there鈥檚 an opportunity for the funniest ones to stand out. Bill Hader stars in this Pringles spot which, while not uproarious, will be the reason your nephew is shouting 鈥淣obody asked you, Kevin!鈥� for the next three weeks. Solid effort.
Memorability: 4/5Humor: 4/5Water Cooler Cachet: 6/10Overall Score: 14/20
Doritos vs. Mountain Dew
If you鈥檙e going to book not one, but two A-list actors for your spot (not to mention two musicians), you鈥檇 better make the most of them. This spot does this for the most part, and the lip-syncing gag is at least chuckle-worthy. Though it ends with a bit of a dud, it will definitely be one of the most-talked about ads.
Memorability: 4/5Humor: 4/5Water Cooler Cachet: 7/10Overall Score: 15/20
Febreze
Too often, these ads get so far away from the actual product that you forget what you鈥檙e even watching. Febreze has a good conceit here, though, with the #BleepDontStink campaign. The humor should work with most people, even if there鈥檚 not a lot of wow factor. And the line at the end is legitimately funny.
Memorability: 3/5Humor: 5/5Water Cooler Cachet: 7/10Overall Score: 15/20
